I select content for you from whole work of Osho. Here is
your Answer. Feel free to write me, what ever you want.
There are indications.
One, you begin to feel a different identity within you. You
are no more the same. If the technique fits you,
immediately you are a different person. If you are a
husband, you are no more the same husband. If you are a
shopkeeper, you are never again the same shopkeeper.
Whatsoever you are, if the technique fits you, you are a
different person; that is the first indication. So if you
begin to feel strange about yourself, know that something
is happening to you. If you remain the same and do not
feel any strangeness, nothing is happening. This is the
first indication of whether a technique fits you. If it fits,
immediately you are transported, transformed into a
different person. Suddenly this happens: you look at the
world in a different way. The eyes are the same, but the
looker behind them is different.
Secondly, all that creates tensions, conflicts, starts
dropping. It is not that when you have practiced the
method for years, then your conflicts, anxieties, tensions
will drop -- no! If the method fits you, immediately they
start dropping. You can feel an aliveness coming to you;
you are being unburdened. You will begin to feel, if the
technique fits you, that gravity has become reversed.
Now the earth is not pulling you down. Rather, the sky is
pulling you up. How do you feel when an airplane takes
off? Everything is disturbed. Suddenly there is a jerk, and
gravity becomes meaningless. Now the earth is not
pulling you, you are going away from gravity.
The same jerk happens if a meditative technique fits you.
Suddenly you take off. Suddenly you feel the earth has
become meaningless; there is no gravity. It is not pulling
you down, you are being pulled up. In religious
terminology, this is called "grace". There are two forces
-- gravity and grace. Grace means you are being pulled
upwards; gravity means you are being pulled downwards.
That is why in meditation many people suddenly feel they
have no weight.
That is why many people feel an inner levitation. So many
have reported this to me when the technique fits them:
"This is strange! We close our eyes and we feel that we
are a little bit above the earth -- one foot, two feet, even
four feet above the earth. When we open our eyes we are
just on the ground; when we close our eyes we have
levitated. So what is this? When we open our eyes we are
just on the ground! We never levitated."
The body remains on the ground, but you levitate. This
levitation is really a pull from the above. If the technique
fits you have been pulled, because the working of the
technique is to make available for you the upward pull.
This is what the technique means: to make you available
for the force which can pull you up. So if it fits, you know
-- you have become weightless.
Thirdly, whatsoever you will now do, whatsoever,
howsoever trivial, will be different. You will walk in a
different way, you will sit in a different way, you will eat
in a different way. Everything will be different. This
difference you will feel everywhere. Sometimes this
strange experience of being different creates fear. One
wants again to go back and be the same, because one
was so attuned with the old. It was a routine world, even
boring, but you were efficient in it.
Now everywhere you will feel a gap. You will feel that
your efficiency is lost. You will feel that your utility is
reduced. You will feel that everywhere you are an
outsider. One has to pass through this period. You will
become attuned again. You have changed, not the world,
so you will not fit. So remember the third thing: When the
technique fits you, you will not fit into the world. You will
become unfit. Everywhere something is loose, some bolt
is missing. Everywhere you will feel that there has been
an earthquake. And everything has remained the same;
only you, you, have become different. But you will be
attuned again on a different plane, on a higher plane.
The disturbance is felt just like when a child grows and
becomes sexually mature. At the age of fourteen or
fifteen every boy feels that he has become strange. A
new force has entered -- sex. It was not there before, or it
was, but it was hidden. Now for the first time he has
become available for a new kind of force. That is why
boys are very awkward; girls, boys, when they become
sexually mature, they are very awkward. They are
nowhere. They are no longer children and they are not yet
men, so they are in between, fitting nowhere. If they play
with small children they feel awkward -- they have
become men. If they start making friendships with men
they feel awkward -- they are still children. They fit with
The same phenomenon happens when a technique fits
you. A new energy source becomes available that is
greater than sex. You are again in a transitory period.
Now you cannot fit in this world of worldly men. You are
not a child, and you cannot yet fit in the world of saints;
and in between one feels awkward.
If a technique fits you these three things will come up.
You may not have expected that I would say these
things. You may have expected that I would say you will
become more silent, more quiet, and I am saying quite
the contrary: you will become more disturbed. When the
technique fits you will become more disturbed, not more
silent. Silence will come later on. And if silence comes
and not disturbance, know well that this is not a
technique; this is just getting adjusted to the old pattern.
That is why more people go for a prayer than for
meditation because prayer gives you a consolation. It fits
you, adjusts to you, to your world. Prayer was doing
virtually the same thing that psychoanalysts are now
doing. If you are disturbed they will make you less
disturbed, adjusted to the pattern, to the society, to the
family. So by going to a psychoanalyst for one, two or
three years you will not get better, but you will be more
adjusted. Prayer does the same thing, and priests do the
same thing -- they make you more adjusted. Your child
has died and you are disturbed, and you go to a priest. He
says, "Do not be disturbed. Only those children die early
whom God loves more. He calls them up." You feel
Your child has been "called up." God loves him more. Or
the priest says something else: "Do not be worried, the
soul never dies. Your child is in heaven."
One woman was here just a few days before. Her husband
had died just during the past month. She was disturbed.
She came to me and she said, "Only assure me that he is
reborn in a good place and then everything will be okay.
Just give me a certainty that he has not gone to hell or
he has not become an animal, that he is in heaven or he
has become a god or some such thing. If you can just
assure me of this, then everything is okay. Then I can
bear it; otherwise I am miserable."
The priest would say, "Okay! Your husband is born as a
god in the seventh heaven, and he is very happy. And he
is waiting for you."
These prayers, they make you adjusted to the pattern...
you feel better. Meditation is a science. It is not going to
help you in adjustment, it is going to help you in
transformation. That is why I say these three signs will
be there as indications. Silence will come, but not as an
adjustment. Silence will come as an inner flowering.
Then silence will not be an adjustment with the society,
with the family, the world, the business -- no! Then
silence will be a real harmony with the universe.
Then a deep harmony flowers between you and the
totality, then there is silence -- but that will come later.
First you will get disturbed, first you will become mad.
If a technique fits, it will make you aware of everything
that you are. Your anarchy, your mind, your madness,
everything will come to light. You are just a dark mess.
When a technique fits, it is as if suddenly there is light
and the whole mess becomes apparent. For the first time
you will encounter yourself as you are. You would like to
put the light off and go to sleep again -- it is fearful. This
is the point where the master becomes helpful. He says,
"Do not be afraid. This is just the beginning. And do not
escape from it."
At first this light shows you what you are, and if you can
go on and on, it transforms you toward what you can be.
Enough for today.